Chapter Four

Uncomfortable Understanding

The morning brought the little group together at a nearby restaurant. Lina and Gourry fussed over all the food as usual, nothing seemed anything out of the ordinary. Zelgadis enjoyed his tea and ate only sparingly, and Amelia ate with the dignity of a princess.

It was your standard breakfast.

After breakfast was over, Lina looked over to Zelgadis. “How are you feeling, Zel? You gave us a good scare last night.”

Zelgadis blushed faintly, then looked off to the doorway. “I’m fine.”

Amelia set her fork aside and looked at Lina. “How are you, Miss Lina?”

Lina pushed her chair back from the table and stood. “Me? I’m just fine, Amelia. Your healing spells are getting more powerful. I don’t feel a thing anymore.”

Anymore. Which means that what I did to her in the Astral Plane… Zelgadis brooded quietly. She must still have hurt even after Amelia cast the healing spell. She looks tired… was she awake all night healing herself?

Lina looked over to Zelgadis, for a moment considering something, then she rested her hands on her hips. “Well? Are we all going to sit around doing nothing? There’s treasure and a cure to be found!”

The little group gathered themselves up and headed out for more parts unknown.

As they walked out of the small town, Amelia gave Lina one of those Looks, and Lina sighed. There he was again, lost in his thoughts, walking along on automatic. Fine. Looks like it’s as good a time as ever...

Her soft question broke the train of thought, but he hadn’t heard what she asked. “What?” He asked, looking to her.

“I said, are you feeling okay, Zelgadis?” Lina asked softly, eyes averted. She didn’t really want everyone else hearing this, but then she noticed Amelia happily chattering away at Gourry. Bless Amelia. But… If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that Amelia was trying to pair me up with Zelgadis. Not that I don’t like him… but I respect his privacy too much and I’d hate to upset him.

He looked at her for a moment, then turned his gaze away and continued walking. “I’m fine.” She wouldn’t look at him. He suppressed the intense shame at what he had done and tried to keep an even pace with Amelia and Gourry. Those two act like they have no cares in the world, he thought. Happily chatting away, blissful of everything that goes wrong in this world.

I’m losing him! Lina thought frantically, biting her lip. Now what do I do? I’m no good at this! It’s easier to talk to Gourry; you just hit him over the head enough times and he gets the clue. But Zelgadis…

“Did you sleep any last night, Lina?” His voice and the sudden question startled her. She looked up to see him looking at her intently, those crystalline eyes unfathomable and clearly guarded.

“I… a little,” she admitted weakly, looking down as she continued to walk. True, she had slept some, but she had spent most of the night in an exhausted semblance of a healing trance.

She came to a sudden halt as Zelgadis’ fingers touched her chin, lifting her face to make her look at him. “Lina… I am sorry for what happened. Had I been aware of what was happening, I would not have injured you.”

She reached up and gave his hand a slight squeeze as she managed a smile before lightly giving his hand a push away. “Really, it’s fine, Zel. I knew the risks when I crossed into the Astral Plane.” He touched me. In all this time, he’s never touched me unless it was necessary.

“Is my laugh truly that great, Lina…?” Zelgadis’ voice drifted softly to her ears as he walked past her, to join the other two who were only a few yards ahead.

She froze, blushing, rooted to the spot for a moment before stammering an incoherent reply and sulkingly stalking back to join the group.

Night fell on the travelers before they could reach a town, and they found a reasonable-sized clearing to pass the night. Lina got the fire started in her own fashion (a fireball of appropriate size) and they sat around the fire and rather just stared.

Amelia was doing her best to mentally accept that she wasn’t a romantic interest for Zelgadis, and well, she was only fifteen… there was plenty of lifetime ahead for her to find just the right man. After all, her father liked Mister Zelgadis enough as one of Amelia’s friends… but probably not as a potential son and ruler of Sailune.

Gourry considered. There were a lot of things that had happened lately, and he was only just getting used to not having the Sword of Light around. To tell the truth, he didn’t feel quite like the guardian of the party anymore. Without the Sword, he was only a slightly-above-average swordsman. Not nearly as good as Zelgadis. But then, Zelgadis had an enchanted sword. He didn’t. He sighed faintly and shifted position, looking out at the night sky, wondering where his sword was now.

Zelgadis was brooding. Granted, that was something that Zelgadis did often, and did well. It might have been something that he could pride himself in… if it wasn’t that he was brooding over what he had done to Lina. Damn Rezo for casting that spell on him. But then again… if it hadn’t been for Rezo casting that first spell… would he ever have met Lina? He looked across the fire, intense blue eyes falling on the redheaded sorceress. She’d blown the whole thing off, as was her usual response to anything involving any personal boundaries broken, but there was something in her eyes now whenever she looked at him. As if there was something left unspoken between the two. What did that spell do to her? He wondered. How much of herself did she sacrifice? My nightmares are gone… but are hers only beginning?

Lina stared at the fire. Thoughts swirled in her mind, fragments of Zelgadis’ memories, fragments of her own memories that Rezo’s spell had pulled up. There was a truth in there somewhere… somewhere, there was a key to all of this. Why the spell called up only certain and almost countering memories within her to offset those that she has witnessed in Zelgadis’ mind. His wanting to be strong, her being afraid of her own powers. His lack of family, her overabundance of Older Sister. His practicing from sheer force of will, her practicing by sheer force of Luna.

Shaking her head wearily, Lina rose and murmured a goodnight to the others by the fire. She walked over to her sleeping sack and curled up into it, eyes still open as she contemplated the fragments and tried to make them a whole. Eventually, sleep won out over contemplation, and she fell into a discoherent dream-filled sleep.

“Excuse me.”

She frowned slightly, but didn’t wake.

“Um… will you please wake up?”

She turned over, muttering a bleary “Leave me alone.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. You’re going to have to wake up. At least for a little while.” The voice was gentle, but insistent.

Crimson eyes snapped open, and she sat up, pushing hair out of her eyes, looking for whoever had so rudely awoken her. “What?”

There was a young man with brown hair and eyes dressed entirely in blue kneeling beside her. He smiled politely and nodded. “Ah… you’re awake. Good. I was instructed to give you this.” His voice was soft, obviously intended for her ears alone, and not to wake the others.

He held out a largish leather pouch, offering it to her.

She reached up skeptically, eyes narrowing. “What is it?”

He bowed his head. “I am afraid that I was not informed as to the contents of the pouch. However, I was to tell you that the favor was well-received, and that this was owed you in return. I was ensured that you would do right by it.”

“Favor was well-received…? Okay… I’ll take it. Now go away and let me sleep,” she said irritably. He woke her up just to return a favor? Some nerve. Just for that, she wouldn’t open it until morning. She took the pouch and stuffed it beside her into the bag. Absently, she checked it to make sure that there was nothing explosive about it… and it felt clean. Felt familiar, but she was too tired and bothered about it to look now.

He lifted his head to offer another apologetic smile, his brown eyes meeting hers softly, then stood – and vanished into thin air.

“Eh… good riddance,” she mumbled, rolling back over. After a few moments, she managed to fall back asleep, the dreams fading blissfully into nothingness.