Heart of Darkness

Chapter 18

 

            It wasn’t until after Cassie had put up the tent and helped Zelgadis sit himself upright under the shade it provided that it occurred to Zelgadis that he didn’t know where he was. It was one of those thoughts that occurred to him in a rush of euphoria, that strange elated and lightheaded feeling that came after the pain he’d felt while struggling to move. He forced his breathing calmer and asked her where they were.

            “Ambervale,” she answered, shrugging as she handed him a waterskin. “Or, rather, the ruins of it. It went from a thriving village to a weeks-old ruin in a single night.” She started rummaging through her pack, pulling things out of it, looking at them, shaking her head and putting them back.

            Zelgadis choked on the water, spluttering as he repeated the name. “Ambervale?” He was back…? Had he left? “When did this happen?” He managed to ask as she fretted at him, trying to keep him from inhaling more of the water, though he wouldn’t let go of the waterskin.

            “Not too long ago. It’s a good place to hunt for wild game, and the occasional odd bit here and there that might be sellable. I don’t normally come into the runs this far, though. There’s talk that this was the work of a Mazoku, and that he’s still around here…” Cassie’s golden eyes grew wide as she stared at Zelgadis. “Oh, Great One! Is that what happened to you? Did you disturb the Mazoku?” For a moment, her pack and its mysterious contents were forgotten.

            Something rang in his addled memory, something about a Mazoku, a cold and chilling grip. Blue eyes… Damn! Why couldn’t he remember what had happened? He sighed, shaking his head slightly. “For all I know, I may well could have. Who knows, it may even have been what destroyed this place. I don’t know how long I’ve been here.” He wet his lips and continued. “I can remember an ice cold grip, being unable to breathe… and blue eyes that seemed… I don’t know. Detached.” It certainly sounded like a Mazoku. Was the fight with this Mazoku what had caused the fall of Ambervale? Or was his fight after the fall?

            “Don’t push yourself,” Cassie advised. I’m sure you’ll recall everything in time. I’m told that the mind can be injured just like the body can… and judging by your physical injuries, it’s amazing that you’re more or less all in one piece up there.” She tapped her own temple for emphasis. “Give yourself a chance to heal.” She handed over a small parcel of food that she had taken from her pack, which he eyed as he took it with his good hand. “Here, eat it,” she said. “It may not look that good, but it’s better than you think.”

            After she tugged away the wrappings for him, he took a look at the grey-ish mash and then looked back to her with a skeptical glance. Slowly, he lifted it to his mouth and took a bite of it, blinking in surprise at the taste. “It’s deer,” she said, grinning. “With some vegetables mashed up in it. I wrap it up in leaves and stick it in the coals of my fire to cook. It doesn’t come out half bad, though I’ll admit it looks awful.”

            He had to agree with the appearance. The texture left a bit to be desired too… but beggars couldn’t be choosers. At least it wasn’t fish that had been fireballed to death. Like the time that… the memory vanished before he realized what it was and he cursed out loud. “Damnit!” Lowering his hand, he closed his eyes in bitter disappointment. “I think I’m going to rest for a while.” He meant to say that he wanted to be alone, to sit and think things out for himself without her helping, without him feeling as if he couldn’t do the most simplest of things. In other words, he wanted a chance to escape from the harsh reality that seemed to be crushing him.

            Cassie sighed and nodded as she stood up. “I’ll… scout around for some supplies; try to gather some wood for a fire. It looks to be a cold night.” Silence answered her, and she walked quietly away.

            It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her rescue, wasn’t that he didn’t need the assistance… it just felt… well, wrong. There was something that Rezo had told him, something about a choice and a door… and a girl. There was a girl. But even as he struggled to remember, it danced out of his mind in a scarlet haze and was gone. He opened his eyes again, casting a slow glance around to see if Cassandra was still there. Finding that she wasn’t, he lifted the food again, taking another bite as he struggled to come to terms with his injuries. He chewed, swallowed, and then considered the mash, focus shifting to his hand. The stone of his skin was cracked, as if dry. But it didn’t make sense. Stone skin couldn’t crack. Not like normal skin could.

            None of this made any sense to him. He glared down at his useless hand, his right hand. His sword hand. Where was his sword? If he’d been fighting here… it should have been close. Cassandra… Cassie would have said something, wouldn’t she? Was she the Mazoku? He very carefully put the food down, unwilling to eat any more of it, in the event that it was possibly drugged.

            Slowly, deliberately, Zelgadis began to focus his thoughts. Let the strange duality of pain and pleasure work to his advantage. Try it, learn from it. Manipulate it into a tool and not a hindrance. It would work. It had to. He would force it into working. If the pain gave him the ability to keep going, then he would learn how it worked and put it painfully to use. He’d do it on his own, no matter how long it took. He couldn’t ask her for her thoughts on it.

            He was the only one that he could trust.