Still Waiting


Counting the hours

Time goes by, nothing matters

Sitting alone in the night

Music is playing

Life goes on, but I'm dying

My heart is longing for my lover


            For years she’d come to the little bar. She herself didn’t understand it. But she’d grown through the years, matured and finally calmed into the woman that she was today. Her adopted son was long gone, and she felt like an old maid.

            This was the last place she’d seen him. The last place that she’d told him to get out of her life. He’d said he’d be back. That was almost twenty years ago.


The same old table, and the same old dress

I come here everyday and hope that you'll be there

I'm waiting; I'm making conversation to you all by myself

And you'll promise that you'll never leave me


            She studied the hem of her skirt. It was starting to come out again. How many times had she repaired it, trying to recapture that which she had lost? She sighed, whispered his name, and she shook her head sadly.

She turned her attention back to her cup. She’d long given up on tea, instead favoring the more alcoholic drinks that humans imbibed in. Pity that they didn’t have the same effects on her.


Drowning in memories,

Too much bourbon and whiskey

I'm still waiting for my lover


            What an idiot she’d been. She’d only truly been alive around him, capable of feeling things that she’d never felt before, and probably never would again. Anger, fire… passion. Her heart… traitor to her very being.  


See my reflection as I stare out the window

Wishing that you were here tonight

Lost in your shadow in the arms of another

My body's yearning for my lover


            She always sat here, at this table by the window so she might see him if he decided to make the dramatic entrance of walking up to the bar. So many years and he still hadn’t come.

            Others had come and gone, she’d not even noticed their touch. Humans had so little to give. She wanted more.


They say that I'm crazy, have I lost my mind?

Oh, no, I won't deny that I still love you so

I'm waiting, heart's breaking

I am searching but you're not anywhere

I am praying, won't you come back and free me


            She’d sent letters, visited old haunts… but no-one had heard from him. They all thought she’d lost her mind. She seek him? Preposterous. Men from towns around had come, swearing that they could make her forget him.


No one can save me,

Only you make me happy

I'm still waiting for my lover


            None of them had.


I still remember all the things you said

How your heart was set to never let me go

I'm waiting, am I fading?

Disappearing each time I close my eyes

Did you love me at least once, or was I dreaming?


            She put the empty cup down, closing her eyes and holding her breath. After so long, memories and dreams were blurring together. Every year brought her closer to being uncertain of the truth anymore. Was she forgetting? Or simply growing old?


Walking the streets

I don't know where, what am I doing?

I'm still waiting for my lover


            She left the bar, walking quietly out and heading in no general direction. She always managed to end up at home, so she never bothered to pay attention to where she was going. She only thought of him.


Counting the hours

Time goes by, nothing matters

I'm still waiting for my lover


            She did indeed arrive at her doorstep, the lonely candle in the window a solitary reminder. The reminder that she was waiting for him, and would continue to do so. When the candle burned low, she exchanged it for a new one, renewing her pledge to wait for him.


Drowning in memories,

Too much bourbon and whiskey

I'm still waiting for my lover

I'm still waiting

For my lover


            She opened the door and stepped into the lonely tea-shop.

            Tomorrow she would do it all again.




“Still Waiting” is from Megumi Hayashibara’s album “Whatever”

I think you can figure out who the two are…